Signs of Abuse

Do you suspect you or someone else is in an abusive relationship? Answer these questions as many are warning signs of abuse:

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Does your partner…
  • Control where you go, what you do, or your appearance?
  • Act extremely jealous and possessive?
  • Behave needfully, make statements like “I cant live without you”?
  • Secretive or reluctant to talk about past relationships and experiences?
  • Constantly check up on you?
  • Give you the silent treatment?
  • Ignore, insult, or put down your opinions, accomplishments, or feelings?
  • Withhold approval, appreciation, or affection?
  • Have a bad, unpredictable, or irrational temper?
  • Have mood-swings ranging from sweet and charming to angry and controlling?
  • Blow up or get angry over innocent comments you made?
  • Keep you from seeing friends, family, or from going to work?
  • Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed or ashamed for friends or family to be around you when you are together?
  • Criticize your friends and family members?
  • Have dual personalities behave appropriately in public and appearing to treat you well in front of others, but changes into a different abusive or aggresive person when you’re alone together.
  • Consistently find flaws with you?
  • Criticize, put you down, or call you names?
  • Manipulate with lies and contradictions?
  • Limit access to money, phone, email, or transportation?
  • Control or disapprove of spending but has no problems spending on himself?
  • Deny your personal and basic needs?
  • Hurt you in any physical form, or threaten to harm or kill you?
  • Inflict fear, causing you to “walk on eggshells” in fear for your safety and going home?
  • Ever hit or pushed you, even “accidentally” or just one time?
  • Humiliate, disrespect, or yell at you, in public or private?
  • Threaten to take your children away or harm them?
  • Threaten to hurt others, himself, or make threats of suicide if you attempt to leave?
  • Hurt your pets or damage your personal belongings?
  • Force you to have sex, take advantage of you sexually, or make unreasonable sexual demands?
  • See you as property or a sex object, rather than a person?
  • Has a disregard for the law or sees himself as being above it?
  • Lack the ability to laugh at himself?
  • Destroy your belongings?
  • Blame you for the abusive behavior? Convincing you he is “right,” while you are “wrong”?
  • Never or rarely apologizes or admits wrong doing?
  • Make excuses for the behavior or blame others for abusive actions?
  • Causes you to lose confidence and question your perceptions and feelings.
  • Acts like a parent, causing you to feel like a child in the relationship, forcing you to ask permission and apologize for your behavior?

Click here for examples of behaviors of an abusive person.

Click here for examples of what a Healthy Relationship looks like.